Yeah that's me right about now.... As it turns out you can't do no exercise for months and then try an all out session at the gym. But it has been decided, I will get fit this year, starting today.
STEP 1
Join a fancy gym: Thanks to my kindly mother I have a free trial at a posh gym down the road. The kind where business people sit outside and do business in front of you so you can see they are business people. The kind who say, "Let me run this by you" and "We shall have to do lunch sometime".
The gym is great though, with a pool, fitness centre, sauna, steam room and jacuzzi (of death).
After going along today I was advised to take it slow and go at my own pace. Unfortunately these are two different things all together. I then proceeded to prove I was cool by running too fast on the treadmill, too long on the step machine thingy, swim too fast and spend too long in the overheated jacuzzi.
All of this resulted in my death. I am fairly confident I died.
Possible exaggeration, but I did feel very light headed and sick. Luckily there were a number of naked gurus to advise me on what to do.
I was not even remotely comfortable taking my clothes off in front of these men, but they seemed to love swinging it around and whistling. When I decided to take a shower, I noticed a guy showering naked, talking to another nude gentleman right next to him. Not too weird you might think, but the showers were in separate cubicles with doors! The gym had designed the showers for privacy and yet these guys were just hanging out together...
Anyway one guy explained that the sauna is broken and the heater makes it too hot most of the time and too cold the rest. So I shouldn't worry that I had essentially been beaten by a bubble bath...
I am now home, and as I said feeling like a puddle, but I suppose a happy puddle. A puddle with a plan.
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